In response to the cross-posted query:
> What circumstances have any of you seen that have done the most damage to
> pedalboards?
>
(1) An organist who used to hack savagely at the pedalboard with an axe every
Sunday morning because she felt it gave her better traction if the keys were
"roughed up just a tad." She was later arrested for poisoning her lemon
squares at the church picnic, and is serving 73 consecutive life sentences. She
continues her mail-order business, selling jewelry made of seashells.
(2) An organist who used to let his pet giraffe sit with him during the
services, but never bothered to toilet train the giraffe. He brought the beast
because I refused to screw a mirror to the historic organ case, and he claimed
that he needed the animal to tell him what was going on down in the chancel. He
has since quit in a rage, and Elmer, his giraffe, is now Minister of Music and
conductor of the resident chamber orchestra. They are touring the Adriatic
now.
(3) A church member, in her late nineties, who dumped a backhoe full of
boulders onto the console. She was very handy, and was building a dry-joint stone
wall for the church parking lot, which is why she was delivering the rubble. A
USMC drill sergeant, she had partaken of too much bourbon pound cake at a
gathering the night before. When she is on leave, she serves as chief cataloguer
for our family library.
Those are the three that come to mind as the worst cases. The rest are the
usual scratches, scuffs, and black heel marks.
Sebastian M. Gluck
New York City
43,978,264 pencils retrieved (to date) from beneath pedal claviers
Ask about bulk purchasing opportunities
.
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