Hello List members,

I've spent many years working with choirs, and as a result of those 
experiences I believe that much "tone deafness" is a matter of 
perception (or lack thereof).  If I  work with a child one-on-one...and 
I match his/her pitch, the child usually learns rather quickly to 
distinguish when our tones are the same.  Initially, the child often 
slides down to a lower pitch...to "match" his/her usual perception of 
what singing with others should be.  This "method" of matching has 
rarely failed...in one such case the child had a very unusual  
"whispery" speaking voice.  Occasionally, a learning disability might 
impede learning to match pitches and sing in tune, and reading readiness 
is also a factor.

Cheers!
Penny Draper

P.S.  As an aside, my extended family has fun singing "Happy Birthday" 
atrociously, the more musically-inclined singing in keys separated by 
1/2 step  throughout...causing listeners to marvel that anyone in the 
group is a musician by profession.